The End of the Road

The next day was a day off (that’s approximately number 4, if you’re keeping track). Rob and I spent most of the day with Kerry. We hit the Met to see some ancient Egypt stuff and some ancient MezoAmerica stuff and some other stuff, possibly ancient. Over lunch at Chipotle we randomly ran into some executives from McDonald’s. That was weird. We moseyed down to the Museum of Sex, but found it was too expensive to be worth it, so just hung out in the gift shop. I found an awesome magnet that is a bit R-rated and has my name on it. Very exciting. Then it was off to the Staten Island Ferry so we could ogle the Statue of Liberty. I fell asleep on the way back. Our last stop was “Toys in Babeland”, which I’ve always wanted to go to. Good times. I learned a lot.

Then it was back to the church. I was very sleepy, and ended up passing out til about 8 o’clock, when I had just enough energy to stumble out and find a bagel with lox before crashing for the night. I did miss going out on the town, but I figured it was better to fall asleep in a church than on the subway.

The next day we took the last ride on the BGB, down to DC. We stopped on the way in Philadelphia at an LGBT youth drop-in center called The Attic. They gave us lunch and we were able to walk around a little. We went down the street to a different center that had free copies of The Advocate which we shamelessly stocked up on.

We got to DC just in time for Robin and me to help take everything off the bus (it was chartered for the next day) and meet up with Laura and Quinn and their boys for a lovely night of couples bowling in the Maryland suburbs. It was a great time.

Saturday and Sunday we spent doing various chores (making sure everyone had everyone’s contact info, filling out evaluations, writing postcards, and signing pictures to auction off. I’m not even kidding people) and having group bonding time. We took a couple of hours and stripped the wrap off the bus. That was actually pretty fun, though I was not the one hanging over the edge of the top to get the last bits off. I have some pieces I’m hoping to make into little bags or wallets to give to everyone, but we’ll have to see when that actually happens. I led the group in a craft project so we’d each have books for other people to write in. That went really well and turned out to be a wonderful keepsake. I got to see my grandma Saturday night, and catch up with Jocelyn and Adam and Cora and Kristin Sunday morning while other people were at church. It was totally awesome to see everyone before they all scatter to the winds.

Sunday night we had kind of a sharing circle, where everyone got to go around and say whatever they had to say to the group. It was actually my idea, based on Champagne Party in Georgetown Theatre, only a lot more coherent and a lot less vomitous. It was really nice to be able to all come together and hear each other as a group for one last time. Of course, we ended by singing Om Shanti. I think everyone cried a little, but there was also a tremendous drive to keep this energy going and continue what we started. I have high hopes for the future.

To quote Peter, Paul, and Mary: “I will not turn my head, I will not close my heart, I will not still my hands, until my work is done.”

So, the bus may have stopped but the Ride goes on. Although I do not think I will spend my life with this particular issue, I have been inspired to continue grassroots activism dialogue and community building wherever possible. I have already spoken to a lot of you about my plans for the future, and I will try to keep this blog updated as my adventures continue.

Thank you for all your love and support

New Yawk City?!

So the Big Gay Bus rolls through the Lincoln Tunnel… We got in to the city fairly early in the afternoon, which was nice. We stayed at the Parish of St. Paul and Somebody up on the Upper West Side, just a few blocks from Central Park and the Met. It’s a Methodist church I think, maybe Lutheran, but a synagogue congregation also meets there Friday and Saturdays and they run a huge feeding and housing outreach program as well. We were to stay in their sanctuary (huge, with a big balcony) and in a couple of other rooms. After our tour Robin and Dawn and I went for a walk in the Park and then to CVS to purchase shoe polish and cute knee highs for the evening’s activities.

That night was our big fundraiser with our NYC donors. It was your usual booze and schmooze at a small gallery on the Lower West. I admit it was far from my idea of a good time, but there was a big crowd and they seemed happy to just sort of be in our presence. The guy with glasses from “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” was there too, and there were several speeches and whatnot. Mreh. I enjoyed dressing up and showing off my shaved head. Oh yeah, the shaving happened the last night in Pennsylvania. Jake tried to talk us out of it, saying that it wouldn’t look good in the press, and tried to pull this co-director BS. After 7 weeks he really should have known better. I told him I was considering dying it with a rainbow swirl and that made him go away. J

I decided to sleep in the sanctuary. It was decently comfortable, aside from the snoring of my lovely co-riders. The next day we were up early and on the Subway to head down to a church where we met community members for our action at West Point. Kerr-bear was there, which was pretty nifty. She got to meet people and catch up. We got a second bus for community members to ride, and those who were interested in engaging in civil disobedience. I decided a nap was more important, so rode on the quiet bus. It was lovely.

A few hours’ ride later we arrived in Great Falls. We had thought that we might be allowed on campus as tourists as we had been at the Naval Academy. However when we arrived we were stopped by MP’s and local police and told that we had been designated as a protest group and would be allowed in a cordoned off area outside the main gate but would be arrested if we went on campus. *sigh* So we hopped off the two buses, grabbed our gear, and marched nicely down to the gate. We had our little press conference and stood with the banner and all that. I got to be in charge of the tape across people’s mouths (black this time instead of tan), so that was kinda cool.

As for those going on campus, it was kinda funny. They all stood in a line with a speech (that Sweet Cane wrote) like at Liberty. The MP’s told them to get back, that they were a threat to national security yada yada. They were then escorted back out the other side of the gate. Jake tried to explain that he was just going to go back on campus because he wanted to talk to cadets etc. and the MP he was talking to just did not get it. She kept saying “you’re not allowed” and he kept saying “this is important, I need to do it”. So anyway after they were escorted off they just got back in line to continue the speech. The second time they were cited for trespassing and escorted off again. They did not have nearly enough police to process everyone efficiently, so they managed to give the whole speech more than once. Meantime I learned that it is very unpleasant to sneeze with tape across your mouth. Unfortunately the whole campus was on lockdown so we didn’t get to talk to any cadets then. Jake took the microphone and gave a lengthy and moving speech commemorating the end of the Ride and how much work we have to do in the future etc. It was great, but I’ve gotta say I was more worried about sunburn.

We had lunch and did a bit of shopping in Great Falls before we left. I got Cap’n Higgins an awesome banana-shaped harmonica that said “I went bananas at West Point” and it was funny ‘cause it was true. For some reason we decided to take the windiest road in the state back to the city, so it was not so pleasant a trip but okay.

When we got back to the church we were far overdue for a shower and a nap. Good times. THEN the really exciting thing happened. A couple of cadets had made secret undercover contact with some of our people while they were out at lunch, and they “arranged to get off campus” to meet us in the city. It was awesome. It ended up there were 11 of them and 8 of us, and we had pizza and beer and chatted. We got to share stories and contact info and all that. They were so sweet. One of them asked me “What’s it like to be out? I’ve never been able… I’m so scared” and I just wanted to squeeze her. She really loves the military but has a hard time. She was in the regular enlisted army for a while and said that it wasn’t nearly so much of a problem to be gay there. Anyway, we will hopefully keep in touch. I was really glad I was there.

Eastern

It's a long way from Chicago to Philadelphia, my friends. We left about 6 am and didn't get to the hotel til probably 7 or 8. I slept across the entire state of Indiana. We hit a big storm coming across Pennsylvania, and briefly wondered if we'd be swept up in a Tornado. Luckily we made it to the KFC. At least I think that was that day... it may have been in Nebraska... Anyway, we watched the BBC miniseries of "Tipping the Velvet", which was pretty fun to sleep through. Anyway, we finally got into King of Prussia Pennsylvania about the same time as a college lacrosse team. As you might imagine, the boys were quite excited. I personally was just hungry and tired and very glad for a shower.

The next day was ostensibly a day off, but we were in the middle of nowhere and had two community meals. I went to the lunch, which was at a really nice Unitarian church. We got lost both on the way there and the way back, so the whole thing ended up taking about four hours. The hummus was good.

Monday was our day at Eastern University. It was the only school that had actually wanted us to come, but even they sent mixed messages. In our welcome packet we got a coupon for 20% off at the bookstore, and 10 pages on Eastern's understanding of biblical sexuality, including more references to "orifices" and "natural uses of the body" than I thought necessary. We were welcomed very nicely however, including having our photos posted on the closed circuit television. We gave the "...Violence" presentation for the last time *tear*, to probably our smallest audience (they didn't give us a very big space), and then retired to the cafeteria for lunch. I spoke to some adminstrators about the disconnect between their welcome and their policy, and they actually said they thought the handbook etc. could be rewritten to reflect the actual community standards. This is the school that recently allowed a student-run gay-straight alliance to be recognized by the administration. On my way out of the cafeteria I tripped over the welcome mat (irony, huh?) and fell rather spectacularly on all fours on the marble floor. My knees started to swell instantly, and I ended up getting a ride back to the hotel with the documentary crew and a couple other people who were sick. On the way out we passed "Repent America" who had been allowed to set up a table outside the student center and hand out pamphlets. Again, wtf? Anyway, I spent the evening icing my knees and watching a "Sweet Sixteen" marathon.

Next Stop: New York City!

Wheaton

Okay, so we rolled up into the Chicago area lateish in the evening. We stopped on the way at Jamie's dad's golf course outside Milkwaulkee for lunch and had a nice little hang out time, including some two-stepping to country music. It's been nice to hang out with people who have decent taste in music. ;-)

Wheaton was a big school for us. It's known as "The Harvard of the Evangelical World", and we were told that we'd meet some of the smartest students there. A very cool guy who's a gay Wheaton alum and now an Episcopal priest and professor at a seminary joined us for those couple of days. He told us about how when someone found out he was gay when he was a student, the school tried to have him institutionalized. Nice.

The mood when we arrived was nice, but a little nervous. They didn't quite seem to know what to do with us. We were told about six times that the cafeteria used to be third in the nation but had recently dropped to fifth or something. It was nice, but not as good as Bethel I must say. The ice cream was this non-dairy no sugar stuff. Anyway, we had several hours each day to just chat with students. I had a lengthy conversation with some people about the legal arguments for marriage equality, and how that relates to morality and all that. It was really nice. Then I gave the guy a headache by telling him in complete honesty that I didn't think I was sinning and that my relationships deepen my faith life. He simply couldn't wrap his head around this, and ended up staggering off like he'd been hit by a truck. It was good, I think. Hm, who else did I talk to? A very sweet guy just coming out of the closet and having a hard time with it, and three freshman girls in the choir who didn't ask me a single question about my sexuality and chatted a lot about how hard it is to become an opera singer. They bought me a smoothie, it was very nice. Oh, at lunch I talked to an administrator who not only thought I was going to hell, but also called global warming "an interesting theory". Now, I know the scientific community is possibly still discussing this, but I've gotta say it did not help me like the man.

The first night was the "forum", where three representatives from Wheaton (the president, a student, and an ex-gay alum) and three representatives from the Equality Ride (Jake, our media rep/resident seminarian guy, and the Episcopal priest) each got 10 minutes (so a half hour for each side), and then responded to questions and answers. It was very civil, but definitely still ended with a lot of disagreement. I will note that the ex-gay guy they had speak was not the best of his kind that I have seen. He was a major drug dealer and was diagnosed with HIV after he was arrested, then found Jesus in jail and decided to stop with the unprotected dangerous behavior. I mean really, there are way better examples out there.

The next day I bought my first praise CD, with 3 songs that we'd been singing regularly. Yay Jesus. Then we gave the "History of Violence" presentation again. It went well, except that the moderator from the forum was our moderator, and gave a 10 minute response to the presentation that basically turned into his response to the forum. He managed both to insult the ER side by implying that we were selfish and uneducated, and to criticize the Anglican church for supporting civil unions in the UK. Not my favorite person. During the question and answer period someone stood up and quoted Leviticus at us and went on for about 5 minutes. I got to respond to the question about homosexuality causing the downfall of Western civilization. Fun times. But I did have several people come up to me afterward to ask about how to be an ally and all that, so it was good.

We ended the day with a community dinner at Red Robin. I can recommend the salmon filet burger, especially with a side of avocado. I met some nice kids who were the children of a lesbian couple. The daughter, about age six, said her favorite sport was curling. It was adorable. Then it was off to sleep before a long drive...

More Press on Me

Here is an interview with just me, from a groovy website.
I am working on the updates by the way. It's very difficult to sit in front of a computer when I am allowed to go outside whenever I want and do things like eat food freshly made by people whose names I know even when they're not wearing buttons and laze around in t-shirts and shorts. Also the naps take up a lot of time, I admit. Point is, they will be up by Wednesday. Watch this space.

On the Cover of a Magazine...

My hand and half my face will be in the background of the cover of The Advocate issue that comes out May 9th. Woot.

Wheaton is pretty. I gave someone a headache. I've got a 14 hour bus ride ahead of me tomorrow, including yet another planning meeting, so I'm gonna bounce.

Also Home of Best Buy!

Wow, that was a cool conversation! Unfortunately we're not going to make it to the Mall of America, but I've seen a lot of malls on this trip so I'm probably good.

Night before last a small group of us went to The Gay 90's. Note that this is the first time I've actually made it "out" on this trip, so be assured that I don't spend my time frolicking. It was a pretty cool club, with seven dance floors and the most diverse clientele (racially, orientationaly, and agealy) I've ever seen. Plus, the drinks were cheap and the company top notch.

Yesterday Robin had a migraine and I decided to stay home to make sure she had someone to close the curtains and whatnot. After notifying all the proper authorities (we usually have 2-4 people home sick or planning or just needing a day off) we went straight back to sleep and didn't wake up til nearly 2 pm. We needed it, seriously. I realized I've been getting an average of 6 hours each night, and if you know me at all you know that is just not enough. Then we got to do laundry, which was lucky 'cause I was on my last pair of undies and had already gone without socks for three days.

From what I understand of the North Central stop it was kind of a dissapointment. Not very many students came out to the tables and when the sit in was staged the school refused to call the police, prefering to use their own security guards to rough us up. However that evening we had a pretty awesome rally in the park near campus (Rob and I got a ride over there in time) with speakers from GLAAD and HRC, several North Central Alums, the spoken word poet I talked about before (btw I think I have the words totally wrong but she's the awesomest person I've ever met), and the actor who played Captain Sulu on the original Star Trek series. Hott. We had a little mini dance and sing a long at the end, including an entirely off key rendition of "Om Shanti" (our unofficial theme song).

Today we were at Bethel University. They welcomed us on, which was nice. I spoke to three different classes, I would say between 150-200 people total. That's pretty cool. One was a group of seminary students wherein I was asked a question about the Anglican Communion, and another was an open forum where someone asked about heterosexism. It was really cool to have a deep intellectual discussion rather than just focus on the same three topics. The last class of the day was a small social work seminar, and Rob and I spent nearly three hours chatting with them about everything from our families to our spiritual journeys to ethics of counseling. It was a really good way to end the day. Also, best cafeteria ever and a gorgeous campus with a lake and everything. Good times.

Also, one of the seminary students asked if I was in the discernment process and when I said I wasn't officially, she said she wanted me to know she saw me as a pastor, or possibly a professor, but probably in the ministry. This is about the third time I've heard this on the Ride. I suppose the mountain does inch ever closer...

Bedtime! Tomorrow we are off to Chicago and then Wheaton, the Harvard of the Evangelical world and home of hundreds of "ex-gays". Exciting.

The G5 Rox!

Minnesoooota

I didn't write last night. We were in Omaha. There's nothing in Omaha. I can note with some interest that the weird collage in the La Quinta there is the same as the weird collage in the La Quinta in El Paso, so there's that.

We didn't get there in time for me to go to the Easter Vigil service, but this morning we got up early so we could stop in Des Moines Iowa for churchiness. Some folks went to the MCC, some went to the Lutheran church, and I dragged Robin to Roman Catholic mass at the catherdral. The church was beautiful, the priest was not so great, but there were lots of babies and I got to hear the classic hymns, so good deal. By the way, as far as I can tell there's not much interesting on the road from western Colorado to Minnesota, except for a very exciting truck stop with a movie theater and Keno games.

I'm actually writing this from a very comfy couch in Jake Reitan's house. His family fed us well and has filled the bus with Easter candy. Woot. We're currently having a meeting about that's happening at North Central University tomorrow. We'll be holding presentations in the park in the center of campus and possibly having a sit-in.

We just listened to the coolest thing ever. This young spoken word poet chica wrote a piece in tribute to us and some dude put it to music so now we have a kind of song. The chorus is "Fight for me Ride for me Candle in the night for me" or something like that. It's amazing. We were all crying and whatnot. I believe we're all getting CD's and I will share it. Also, I will be getting a CD of pictures of me. Most of these pics will be me hiding from the camera, but that's not the point.

Alright, I am off. Tschuess.

Barrel Rolls and Latex Gloves

I forgot to mention something about our stop at CCU. Real, though slightly paraphrased quote, from the president of the school:
"Our policy is a lifestyle issue. Just as we don't allow parrots in the dorms, we don't allow open homosexuals."

???!!!

So today we were at the Air Force Academy. That is an ugly school, let me tell you. It looks like a giant airport. It was a good day. About 10 people got arrested early on for asking someone to sign a giant check for $364 million on behalf of the American tax payer (that's how much has been spent on kicking people out since 'don't ask, don't tell' was made law) and making speeches and things. I stood with tape on my mouth as I said, until there were so many cadets who wanted to speak to us that it just didn't make sense any more. I met a lot of really cool people today, almost all of whom I would describe as allies. Many of them specifically asked "what can I do?", which was awesome. I've gotta say a lot of the boys in the service seem very hung up about the shower and rooming situation. They just assume that gay men would have to have seperate showers. I pointed out that they no doubt currently shower with gay men, they just don't know it. They responded that it would be different if they did know, because they'd have to think about it. This was seriously their biggest objection. Strange.

Actually one of the coolest parts of today was that we cleaned the bus. When we got back from our community dinner about 6 of us decided the time had come to make a stand and attacked the BGB from front to back. We must have pulled 8 full bags of trash off it, and we swept and swiffered and cleaned the windows and everything. I felt called to clean the bathroom, which was possibly the ickiest thing I've ever done. We turned up the music and actually had a really good time, I think in part because the task required an entirely different set of skills than the ones we've been using for the past 5 weeks. Also, we danced, and you know dancing makes everything better.

Tonight the big drama is how and when to stop off for Easter church on Sunday morning. Sheesh. My hope is to get to Omaha (our stop for tomorrow night) early enough to get to the cathedral for the Great Vigil complete with baptism and confirmation, and get some people to come with me so they can get a look at what sort of liturgy I've grown up with, and maybe why I think guitars and projection screens in a gymnasium are a weird way to worship. We'll see how that goes.

A note for those of you who have connections in the NYC area: if you know of anyone who might want to join us at our final action at West Point, have them contact me or Monica (through the website). It's going to be a big deal and we're busing people out from the City and having a fundraiser the night before and stuff. Gonna be bangin'.

Beeteedubs, congratulations on the new job Quinnbee! I'm so proud of you!!!